haiz... its time like this where i feel like shouting out loud... i feel like just leaving my homeland, going to another country, perhaps america or the UK, and start a new life... afresh, free of all these troubles...

sometimes people just expect too much outta u... well, tts not really y i am sad... i have always not wanted to have any enemies... but i somehow now find myself stuck, stuck in a place where i find that no one cares... stuck in a place full of ppl who hates u... i wish i can get out... it feel like u r being strangled upside down, trying hard to get any oxygen available...

i hate enemies, i mean, who wants enemies rite? but sometimes, i try my best to give in, but i find that their hearts are just too hard for me to break through... too hard... it is out of my capacity to to anything... i guess i am just weak...

in church, still, the same guy... still bothering me, i tried hard... but to no help... i'm wandering if i should just let the matter rest? and really dun care about it anymore? should i? but by doing that, i will just be like a normal hypocrite... ahh, this bothers me, please advise me!

in school, or rather someone i am supposed to work real closely with this holiday, cause of the orientation, my partner... i have been wandering why the different negative attitude toward me, it really just discourages me... i feel that, as a team, there must be proper communication, but just because of a simple question i asked, flared her up... even b4 that, i already felt that sense of, "alex, go and die!" kinda attitude... it might not be true, but thats the feeling i get, its not a matter of sensitivity of wad... but i guess because we are partners, we must talk, there must be communication... it feels as if u are deliberately giving me a hard time... sorry if this hurts u, but this is just wad i have to say... else i cant rest...ignoring me will not help, i mean, if u find that there is something in me, like my attitude, that u are against, well, tell me! dun just remain silent, or it will very well just reflect that u really hate me...and i dun deserve to be ur partner... den i will happily back out... but if u do tell me, i will promise to make that effort to change... why would i back out? cause it will do less harm, den u hating me and waiting till the end, and a big problem occurs... i really dunno wad u are thinking... please tell me!

these are just the 2 big problems i am facing now... the rest i better not say...

Brother Edward said :"dun let emotions overcome you, pray about it, and i am sure God will lead you"

haiz...

To Mentor Alvin: Cool down, one day we'll go shooting... cast all your anxieties on God because He cares for you!

To Lois: if u ever read this, there are people who care, some dunno how to express their care and concern in a good way, some prefer to sit back and wait for thigns to happen... and thats me, and i'm really sorry if i did not do anything to help... i guess i will be praying for you, to find the way which is both Godly, and comfortable with you...

To Cindy: haiyoh... take care of yourself ar, y suddenly fall sick? watch too many shows issit? haha... drink more water! camel! hahaha...