Its saddening the way some friends treat me now, i feel disposable...nothing seems to be going well socially... do they understand? its a mystery... u say i am thinking too much? i say not...u say i am being too sensitive? think what u wish, i dun think i am being too sensitive...
People i am supposed to work close together with, whether in class or in society... i feel let down, i feel discouraged... i really dunno what to say...
When a team works together, what should be seen? Love, Kindness, Forgiveness, Understanding, Patience, Helpfulness, a Controlled temper, Laughter... i dunno if i have missed out anything, but what i have written here are the really basic stuff i think a team should possess.
I chose to go into a new group for this semester in my class, i wanted a variation, i did not want to always stick with the same team, i wanted to get out of my comfort zone, i wanted to know what it is like to move from team to team and being able to adapt as soon as possible. Well, there are other reasons too, this is just one. Well, up to now, i do not regret joining a new team... but i would say there are a few things perhaps i am still not comfortable with. Things like arguing unnessesarily, getting pissed just cause others dun agree with you. i can understand if u get angry cause no one seems to pay attention to you, but getting angry cause your idea always gets rejected? i think that is just part and parcel of the life ahead... I tolerated alot already, seeing their black faces whenever there is a group meeting, i tried my best to be the one smiling, not cause i am saddistic, but cause i dun want another black face in there, i wanted things to be more happy... this happened i think till last friday when i finally got pissed... Pissed cause my team wanted to skip lecture to do project, i told them we shoudnt be skipping lecture, one group member said quite irritably that u all wanna go lecture den how we do project, den tmr(saturday) also cannot come for meeting(cause i had to attend the Amazing race). you all may be wondering what the heck is wrong with skipping lecture to do project... Well, firstly, i planned to be hardworking as i got bad results last year. Secondly, because i got bad results last sem, i prayed and prayed to God that i would study hard, and now, what was i showing God when i skipped lecture? Thirdly, it was AGAINST my religion to actually skip lecture, u might say, "what the heck? what does skipping lecture gotta do with religion???" well, i will tell you, it has ALOT...one of them is INTEGRITY...go think...
Another one from the group, i always ask her certain questions, but she most of the time, just cause it is tiring, give me a black face, like dun wanna answer me, and turn away, what an insult! u are tired, well, i wonder if you know, SO AM I!
oh well, that i just the project part... now for the other thing i am pissed about.
Just came back from the Amazing race, will blog more about the race in another post... well, as SCOs, we were supposed to be station masters of different stations, over 2 days... well, yes, it was kinda tiring as we had to wait for very long. Through this amazing race, i got to know some SCOs better... I also kinda saw the bad side of the 2 people i am supposed to work with for this orientation... sorry that i am saying this here, well, this is a place where i throw my feelings, i have no one i could turn to, to throw my feelings, so partner, if u are reading this, i am sorry, i am just feeling terrible now... I just felt really left out during camp by both my partners... i dunno, but tts how i felt... and whenever u all are tired only, u all gave me black face, and kinda really ignored, i mean, i am also tired, but we are supposed to work as a team for all the events rite? isnt that our goal? through the camp, i felt 3 of us did not show any sign of being a group... i felt really pushed aside...well, i am not saying all the blame goes to you both, i also have a part for sometimes not trying, but most of the time i did, i tried cheering u all up, but i got discouraged, seriously... well, whatever i blogged here, i am not saying u did it, but i am saying, that is just my feelings, and that i feel my feelings are most prob correct. i really dunno.. should i continue trying? or am i just wasting my time? thats my thoughts in sentosa today...whenever i try, i get shunned away...If i did any wrong, i really hope u tell me...
As chewyee said, many of the church youth leaders are going throug tough times now... i just need to continue praying to God... asking for more help, lean on Him...
Well, Who is there to help me when i really need help the most? i would say it is only God, no one else, no friends...
People i am supposed to work close together with, whether in class or in society... i feel let down, i feel discouraged... i really dunno what to say...
When a team works together, what should be seen? Love, Kindness, Forgiveness, Understanding, Patience, Helpfulness, a Controlled temper, Laughter... i dunno if i have missed out anything, but what i have written here are the really basic stuff i think a team should possess.
I chose to go into a new group for this semester in my class, i wanted a variation, i did not want to always stick with the same team, i wanted to get out of my comfort zone, i wanted to know what it is like to move from team to team and being able to adapt as soon as possible. Well, there are other reasons too, this is just one. Well, up to now, i do not regret joining a new team... but i would say there are a few things perhaps i am still not comfortable with. Things like arguing unnessesarily, getting pissed just cause others dun agree with you. i can understand if u get angry cause no one seems to pay attention to you, but getting angry cause your idea always gets rejected? i think that is just part and parcel of the life ahead... I tolerated alot already, seeing their black faces whenever there is a group meeting, i tried my best to be the one smiling, not cause i am saddistic, but cause i dun want another black face in there, i wanted things to be more happy... this happened i think till last friday when i finally got pissed... Pissed cause my team wanted to skip lecture to do project, i told them we shoudnt be skipping lecture, one group member said quite irritably that u all wanna go lecture den how we do project, den tmr(saturday) also cannot come for meeting(cause i had to attend the Amazing race). you all may be wondering what the heck is wrong with skipping lecture to do project... Well, firstly, i planned to be hardworking as i got bad results last year. Secondly, because i got bad results last sem, i prayed and prayed to God that i would study hard, and now, what was i showing God when i skipped lecture? Thirdly, it was AGAINST my religion to actually skip lecture, u might say, "what the heck? what does skipping lecture gotta do with religion???" well, i will tell you, it has ALOT...one of them is INTEGRITY...go think...
Another one from the group, i always ask her certain questions, but she most of the time, just cause it is tiring, give me a black face, like dun wanna answer me, and turn away, what an insult! u are tired, well, i wonder if you know, SO AM I!
oh well, that i just the project part... now for the other thing i am pissed about.
Just came back from the Amazing race, will blog more about the race in another post... well, as SCOs, we were supposed to be station masters of different stations, over 2 days... well, yes, it was kinda tiring as we had to wait for very long. Through this amazing race, i got to know some SCOs better... I also kinda saw the bad side of the 2 people i am supposed to work with for this orientation... sorry that i am saying this here, well, this is a place where i throw my feelings, i have no one i could turn to, to throw my feelings, so partner, if u are reading this, i am sorry, i am just feeling terrible now... I just felt really left out during camp by both my partners... i dunno, but tts how i felt... and whenever u all are tired only, u all gave me black face, and kinda really ignored, i mean, i am also tired, but we are supposed to work as a team for all the events rite? isnt that our goal? through the camp, i felt 3 of us did not show any sign of being a group... i felt really pushed aside...well, i am not saying all the blame goes to you both, i also have a part for sometimes not trying, but most of the time i did, i tried cheering u all up, but i got discouraged, seriously... well, whatever i blogged here, i am not saying u did it, but i am saying, that is just my feelings, and that i feel my feelings are most prob correct. i really dunno.. should i continue trying? or am i just wasting my time? thats my thoughts in sentosa today...whenever i try, i get shunned away...If i did any wrong, i really hope u tell me...
As chewyee said, many of the church youth leaders are going throug tough times now... i just need to continue praying to God... asking for more help, lean on Him...
Well, Who is there to help me when i really need help the most? i would say it is only God, no one else, no friends...
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